Relationship & Marriage Counselling. Emotionally-Focused therapy

EFT for Relationships

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a short term (15-40 sessions, usually) therapy approach which helps move relationships from distress towards security. EFT is a structured approach to relationship therapy formulated in the early 1980s by Professors Sue Johnson and Leslie Greenberg. EFT is informed by the latest  neuroscience research and the field of interpersonal neurobiology.EFT is based on Attachment Theory, which asserts that humans have an innate need to connect with, feel attached to and be comforted by a few irreplaceable others. Here are a few videos introducing: attachment theory; how attachment styles inform our behaviours in love relationships and two introducing the evidence-based approach of EFT...

Get Out Of The Repetitive, Negative Cycle
 In the early stages of therapy, we will be in the assesment phase where the focus is on nurturing and assessing for safety, ensuring you're able to hold your experience while you learn to listen deeply to your partner. We then track the repetitive, negative cycles of interaction that intimate partner relationships often get caught in. This cycle often triggers each others' attachment panic leading to rigid, self-protective reations. 

Unfortunately, one partner's best attempt to get emotional needs met can trigger the other to react defensively. Creating distance and pain rather than closeness and emotional safety. We call this a dance because the steps are so well known, and each partner affects the other intimately.  

EFT is a gentle and non-blaming approach to relationship distress. Validating each partner's perspective helps partners send and receive clear emotional signals regarding their needs, longings and fears. 

Instead of simply working on communication skills that can sometimes feel like a 'band-aid' solution, EFT aims to help relationship partners see their dance. Once the dance steps change, partners can send more clear messages about emotional needs that do not trigger the defences or fears of their partner. 

The goal of EFT is to help create a secure inter-dependant attachment bond between partners. This means having a close, safe and loving bond and an increase in coping and overall stress management for each partner. Helping each partner to move from individual coping to relational coping, so they're able to turn to each other in times of pain and disress.
Securely attached people navigate the trials of life with greater ease than those who are insecurely attached. There is nothing like knowing that a precious loved one has your back to help you face what life throws at you.

Click here to book an EFT session for your relationship.

"EFT goes to the heart of the matter by uncovering the deeper needs and fears that often go unheard and by helping partners express these deeper feelings to each another.”
“Most couples know the steps of their ‘dance’ very well and often feel helpless to change the steps.”
"EFT is all about attachment needs and emotional safety.”
"Studies find that 70-75% of relationships move from distress to recovery, through a course of EFT, and approximately 90% show significant improvements in marital satisfaction"